Thursday, March 7, 2013

Confessions of a Not So Perfect Blogger

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately dealing with this big old world of blogging. I realized as of recently that many of the blogs I read I cannot relate to. That is not true of everyone's blog that I read, but many of them. I cannot relate to the perfect hair, skin, and makeup. My house is far from perfect-- it's certainly pretty bad ass for the most part, but if you were to see my basement you'd freak out and it is usually a total mess. And these things just scratch the surface. I want to be able to relate to people in this world of writing and yet I find it impossible to do most times because I am just simply not in any way the same as others.

Or... maybe I am and I just don't know it. Today I had the brilliant idea to write about my imperfections. Bloggers often want to paint perfection in their lives-- love stories, weddings, child-rearing, fashion, relationships. The list is endless. After a while, I began to feel as if I was not living in a reality and so I want to tell about my own experiences and perhaps provide a breath of fresh air for others. After all, isn't blogging about sharing your life?

Let's start off with a completely ridiculous photo of me. Yes, I love being ridiculous and I pretty much never take a good, natural photo. Moving on.

Now. Let's focus on the hair.

Confession: I haven't cut my hair in two years and two months.

This is true. This may be absolutely horrifying to some of you. It may be disgusting to some as well. Truth? I've had people look at me in a disgusted way if I have mentioned this before. Sorry my hair has the worst case of split ends that you have ever seen, but there is a back story there that many don't know.

After I moved to Baltimore six years ago, I needed to find a new stylist. I went to five different salons of all different price ranges within three years. Each time I left the salon, I noticed something was messed up. Usually, the problem was entire chunks of my hair that were at different lengths than the rest of my hair. Chunks. Or, one side would be significantly longer than the other. Not ok. I didn't want to waste money anymore and I was completely freaked out to be honest.

Finally, the last of these five places that I went to was very judgemental. I had to work up the courage to go because I was afraid something horrid would happen again. The stylist was awful. She made rude comments about the fact that I had waited more than six months between haircuts and that my hair was a mess and that I needed to go at least every two months, and blah blah blah. AND she did the same crap everyone else did! She left an entire chunk in the back of my hair that was longer than everything else!

After going almost two years without a cut, a close friend of ours recommended I go to the salon at which she worked reception. I loved it! The stylist did a great job, she didn't judge me for my mess of hair, and I went back for a second time. The problem? The price tag. I had found a great place to get my hair cut and to be honest, my friend gave me a discount on the price. Now said friend doesn't work there as she had found a better job opportunity, and the price tag is a whopping $75 plus tip and anything else I may want to add.

Holy shit! How do you justify spending around $100 every three to four months for a hair cut. Is this normal and I just don't know it?

Hair issue part two: My hair is a constant frizz ball. It will never look nice no matter what styling tips I try. I think I actually have some sort of problem in which I am physically incapable of making hair look nice because it is always smooth a pretty when I leave salons. However, I can't figure it out on my own. Best solution? Always put my hair up and never do anything to it.

And there you have it. Not so perfect confession #1? My hair sucks. Every day is a bad hair day. The end.

Anyone else have hair issues? Seriously. Let me know that I am not alone so that Andrew will stop acting like I am crazy every time I freak out about my hair.


  1. Oh good lord do I have hair issues. I'm a curly girl and have had SO many bad haircuts that it freaks me out. I used to get a trim once a year, mostly because it would get so long that it would start giving me headaches from the weight. I've finally found a good stylist in DC, but I still only go twice a year.

    I can offer you tips on how to deal with wavy/curly hair, but it's all very personal. For me, the biggest tip is "DON'T TOUCH IT." Seriously. This morning, I washed with conditioner only, flipped my hair over, scrunched out as much water as possible (still in the shower), scrunched in some gel, flipped back over, scrunched in a bit more gel, and then put on my bathrobe to absorb the water dripping from my hair. Then I got in the car and blasted the heat to help dry it some more. No touching! Definitely helps with the frizz.

    (I'm Megan @ - you don't have a Name/URL option, and I don't really use any of the other services listed)

  2. Yes! I think I posted about this a long time ago. My hair is super, super thick and wavy. But not the kind of wavy that looks nice, the kind that looks crazy if not tended to, so I have taken to flat ironing my hair, which is a pain. I hate having my hair cut because they never quite achieve the vision in my head. I did find a salon I like- it's actually a mall chain, but they do a great job- and I finally found a stylist I like. Everyone says that a Super Cuts-style salon is the same as any others, but they're not. I don't know what it is, but they never do a good job, but I could NEVER justify the amount. This one I go to now is about $40 a haircut, which is still more than I'd like to pay, but I finally decided I needed to keep up with it so I would be happy with myself and how I look. I AM happier in the long run, so I guess it's worth it, though I am letting it grow out of the angled bob she gave me so it will be a little longer. I guess you could always call around to a few places and see what their prices are, or ask around at work. I did that and half of them went to the same place and they highly recommended it.

  3. ohh..the troubles of hair. That is the story of my life. I have naturally curly thick hair. Most black people view it as 'good' hair which I find to be rude and naive. ALL women have hair troubles regardless of texture or type. That being said.. my troubles started years ago when I was younger. I started relaxing my hair to make it straighter and more imaginable but that just made it smell really really bad and part of my hair was straight and the other part curly. It was a fail.

    At 15 I decided to cut it out(you have to cut the relaxer out) and my hair was super short. It grew back into the lion mane I have now. It took a few years and hundreds of dollars later to find a style I liked and the right products. I now only have my hair cut while dry and curly and I pay al ot for it. Right now it's about 65.00 including tax and tip. However, I only cut it once every 9months or so it's not too bad. I should cut it more often but I can't afford 65 bucks every 4 months. nope..definitely not.

  4. First - I can definitely relate to not relating to a lot of blogs out there. I have stopped folowing fashion blogs because I just can't follow a blog that only posts themselves all done up and in a new outfit every day. That is the exact opposite of me :)

    But... I might be guilty of only posting about the good things in my life (love, wedding stuff, happy stuff, etc...) I don't know why, but I don't want to put a post out there that isn't happy or inspiring. My life is far from perfect and I never try to show that it is. I guess I just want my blog to be a happy space - so I stay away from anything that is less than happy. Maybe I'll make a "real life" post and share it soon, inspired by you! :)

    And... OMG my hair looks horrible every single day of my life! I probably only have a good hair day a few times a year! That could be why I hardly ever post pictures of me on my blog. I have thick, inconsistently wavy/curly & frizzy hair. The only way to make it look nice is to straighten the crap out of it with a flat iron - but then that damages it! I usually have short hair, but I'm trying ot grow it out for our wedding & it seems that the longer it gets, the worse it is to deal with. So yes, I feel your pain - I'm right there along with you! :)

  5. I have issues with my hair in he sense that I hate it. It's naturally curly which means it frizzes constantly and I lose a lot of it every time I shampoo because it's also very fine. I'm surprised I'm not bald.

    It's funny how I feel like I can relate to you not relating to many other bloggers. I'm 37, unmarried, don't want kids, live in an apartment and I haven't been on a real vacation in about eight years. And my hair sucks. It seems like everyone else is younger than me and they're freaking about about approaching 30. Yeah I feel like I'm the only one over 35, actually I know one other person, that's it lol!

  6. haha jinx :)

  7. YES! Can completely relate to this! My hair naturally crimps/curls when I let dry by itself. I honestly like the look it has but when I see myself in pictures it looks terribly fried and thin! YUCK! And while have pinned numerous solutions on Pinterest I am terrified to try anything. I am also hesitant to try any hair product. Using conditioner is something that even makes me nervous (terrified i'll look all greasy).

    And puhlease, I go to the Fantastic Sams. I refuse to spend more than $15 on a trim. If I was wanting something different I could rationalize the ridiculous price but not for just a trim.

  8. I don't get regular haircuts either! I've never gone 2+ years, but it's normal for me to go 6-8 months. I just can't be bothered with it. My hair is wavy and looks better the longer it is, so why pay for somebody to cut it off?

    I also don't wash my hair everyday, which a surprising number of people find weird. I think it's the smartest thing I've ever done, because The Styling Process (it needs capital letters, such is its intensity) takes a good 40 minutes if I decide to straighten it. Who has time for that everyday? Gah.

  9. I've been bouncing around for a few years and I finally found someone who knows what she's doing AND is affordable! Her name is Anita and she's at Studio K in Ellicott City. I promise she won't disappoint And will be worth every penny. Anita 410-442-4060. It's about 20 mins outside the city.

  10. First of all, you are absolutely not alone. I usually get my hair cut these days about once or twice a year. The past 2 times I went, I also got my hair colored, and BOTH times (at different salons no less) the stylist flicked hair dye IN MY EYE. I thought the first time it happened it was a fluke. Then when it happened again the very next time, I was like SERIOUSLY? Why am I paying all this money for possible eye damage and a hair cut that's nothing special? It really freaked me out and I haven't been back since last August. But now my hair is ridiculously long, and I really need to do something about it. I'm thinking of trying a new place soon but am also slightly terrified.

    Also, I've totally felt that thing some stylists do where they are bitchy and judgmental and act like they are doing you a favor by letting you exist in the same air space as them. Needless to say, I don't go back to someone who treats me that way, and I wonder why anyone else does. Are women so desperate to look good that they are willing to put up with that? And on a regular basis??

    I've never been that fussy with my appearance. For the most part, I let my hair air dry and don't put any products in it. If it looks frizzy, so what. It's just not crucial to my happiness in any way to have perfect hair.

  11. Sweetie, if frizzy hair is your imperfection, you've got nothing to worry about in life. :P

    Mine is frizzy, too (yay curls) but only if I try to style it. When I let it do its own thing, it looks fine. Being comfortable with your hair is much more important than having a perfect coif. :)

  12. I always get my hair cut at First Choice or Magicuts. I think its $16 plus you can print off a coupon for $4 off (or something like that). It comes to like $20 total for me, but I still only go like 1-2 a year because I hate hairdressers!

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  14. Yep. I don't know why a standard (good) haircut cuts upwards of $50+ not including tip...and I also usually do color. I get mine done once/year if I'm lucky...

    And girl, I've stopped following SO MANY blogs lately that I just can't relate to. Keep being honest!

  15. Yes! I'm so glad to know that I am not the only one with hair problems!

    I used to take forever straightening my hair in the morning only for it to be big and frizzy by the time I got to work. So not worth the time or effort (or money for styling products that don't work) for it to just be put up in a ponytail a few hours later. I've learned my lesson, and now I just pull it up before leaving for work. Simple, easy, and it looks better that way anyway.

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